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Breastfeeding Goal Met!

Well here we are, the big ONE. Baby2’s first birthday! This is the first of a couple posts I plan to write about the occasion because, quite frankly, ALL THIS AWESOMENESS just can’t be contained by one post alone.

For this first post, I’m actually going to talk about bit more about myself than Baby2 – but no worries, everything else I’ll write about tomorrow is all about her. Speaking of tomorrow, that’s a big day for ME. As of tomorrow, I will have met my goal of breastfeeding for Baby2’s entire first year! I’m going to take a moment to let that sink in. I feel really awesome about this goal. It just feels awesome to meet a goal at all, doesn’t it?!

I tried very hard to successfully breastfeed both of my babies. The biggest difference was that with Kiddo1 I didn’t set any goals for myself, therefore I didn’t really have anything to work toward (other than keeping my happy baby healthy, of course!). This time with Baby2 I set one large, overall goal (to make it to a year) and several smaller goals as well (to make it to six and nine months, to donate excess, etc).

There are more differences between the two breastfeeding jobs I’ve had, and while I try not to get into comparing my children, I think this an interesting contrast:

  • With my first nursling, I didn’t want to educate myself at all because I figured this “skill” would come naturally to me. Come the second time around, I realized that even nature needs some nurture.
  • With my first, I thought a cheap, manual breastpump would do the job (I was so uninformed/naive/young/stupid). With my second, I knew the extra cost of a double electric pump would be worth it (and after a couple months with my Avent, I realized one of those hospital-strength Medelas would be even better, but I stuck it out with Avent).
  • With my first, I didn’t take care of myself first – I didn’t eat well or hydrate enough. With my second, I carry water with me everywhere and I eat SO MUCH better than I did 9 years ago (although these last couple months I have slacked off a lot).
  • With my first, I focused very much on getting Kiddo1 on a schedule (which Kiddo1 took to very well and really was more of a “scheduled” baby than Baby2 is). With my second, I fed “on demand” and didn’t let those evening block feedings phase me at all. Baby2 is SO not a schedule baby, but she does like her routines.
  • With my first, I also focused very much on getting Kiddo1 to sleep through the night (which he did at 5 weeks and never really had much of a regression). With my second, I co-slept and let Baby2 eat at night whenever she needed (more on that later…).
  • With my first, I didn’t seek out any sort of support system (other than Mr. Handsome who has always been amazing). Withmy second, I have a lot more support, mostly in the form of online communities (just reading other women’s struggles and successes is supportive!), but I also sought help from a lactation consultant when I felt like I needed it.
  • With my first, I did a lot of supplementing, mostly so I could go out and be a “normal” 22-year-old, you know? But with my second, I don’t supplement at all unless it is both with milk I pumped and it is because I am literally not physically there with my baby. If I was there with her I insisted on feeding her (except for a couple special occasions that I wanted just one more beer!).

Such a change in 9 years, eh?

In this year with Baby2 we never used a drop of formula, but it was never about an “anti-formula” agenda or anything like that for me. Kiddo1 was formula-fed, so I’m not against it. My motivator started with money, to be honest. Actually I wrote down all my motivators awhile back; I think money was on the list twice. In fact, we’ve done a few things to save money this year (I used Babycenter’s cost calculator and their default settings to calculate the following):

  • Exclusively breastfeeding $1000
  • Cloth diapering $1100 (BabyCenter says my savings here is actually $800 and we should spend $19/month on cloth diapers – without a service – but I think that’s total crap for us because we literally only have laundry expenses for our diapers and those amount to a percentage of the laundry detergent we already use and water, which we pay the same for whether we use none or a shit-ton, no pun intended)
  • Stay-at-home parent $4600

But I hugely digress (money makes me do crazy things). Here are some fun facts to get me back on track:

  • I used my company’s lactation room for 10 months exactly (9/17/12 to 7/17/12).
  • I used exactly 21 milk storage bags and countless number of glass mason jars to store milk (the bags were just used on vacation and once at work when I forgot my bottles).
  • I filled my deep freezer to the top once and I sabotaged my whole freezer stash once. photo 5097A4E7-AAD8-466B-8A41-1E955181E951-1922-000001662E0BA961.jpg
  • I donated over 1000 ounces of breastmilk (which I started doing after I filled my freezer to the top that one time – there was no room for adult food!).
  • I donated my milk to four babies.
  • I could probably count on one hand the number of ounces of milk that I have spilled this year – I have been extremely careful! I only had one little spill at home, never at work.

The only non-breastmilk she’s drank this year is the goat’s milk she’s had this last week as we transition. We selected goat’s milk over cow’s milk because it has more fat, and fat is something this little lady needs. I’m still doing research about fortified and pasteurized versus raw goat’s milk (and kind of leaning toward raw) but for now she’s on milk from the grocery store so it is fortified and pasteurized. More to come on that.

Getting her on goat’s milk has been easy – our first step was to have her take her morning session in a bottle from Daddy now, even if I’m at home. Last week he started mixing one part goat’s milk to two parts breastmilk; this week he’s even flipped that ratio (2 parts goat’s, 1 part mine). Baby2 is taking to it really well. We’re sticking with the 2:1 ratio for another week or so, to make sure she doesn’t react in any way AND to talk with the pediatrician at the end of the week to make sure we’re doing everything right (of course we are! Hahah). She’s still taking her milk warm but after we switch to 100% goats then we’ll probably start trying to give her cooler milk too. So, yes, a very easy switch to new milk.

The hard part we have not yet faced – weaning. More specifically, nighttime weaning. Bleh, I don’t even want to think about it. On the one hand I would really like to have a baby-free bed and a full night’s sleep. On the other, Baby2 is SO EASY to get back to sleep when she wakes up – just feed her! A handful of times that wouldn’t work because she’s just been pissed in the middle of the night, but I blame teething because believe me we tried everything to soothe her those times!

Part of me wants to be really strict and just eliminate nighttime nursing cold-turkey. Just let her cry it out. She’ll totally adjust what she eats during the day so she doesn’t go hungry. No biggie, right?

Then the other part of me, the voice that I hear more loudly, says no, just chill out! (Tanget – have you seen CTFD-style parenting? I love this.) Just keep doing what I’m doing. Why change if things are working well?

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There are just so many variables.

  • Now we have the crib in our room but we’re moving next month (yes we’re actually moving finally!!) and when she has her own room it won’t be as easy to sleepily steal her from her crib so I should transition her away from co-sleeping now.
  • I work full time so I don’t get a lot of time with Baby2 during the week; sometimes nighttime snuggles are the only time I get with her. So I should continue co-sleeping now.
  • I haven’t had a full night sleep since the second trimester of my pregnancy so I should transition her to sleeping through the night now.
  • She’s little and she doesn’t eat much as it is so I should continue feeding her whenever she’ll take sustenance.

I don’t know what we’ll do. Some days I’m totally gung-ho one way and then I flip to the other way. There is no “middle way,” though: we either night wean AND discontinue co-sleeping or we don’t. I’m not walking to her room in the middle of the night and hanging out in there until she’s ready to go back to sleep. What the hell is the point of that? Oh so I can lose MORE sleep at night? No thanks. If I continue feeding her through the night I must do it while half asleep. There just is no other way. More to come on my progress on this end.

I DO know that I’m done pumping at work! Woot! I’ve removed all blocked-off pumping time from my Outlook calendar. I’ve taken my pump home for the last time. I’ve cleaned and boiled my pump parts and tucked everything away in its black bag. This weekend I will pack it in a moving box along with a bunch of other random moving crap (even though we’re not moving for another month). The pump bag will likely sit in my daughter’s closet at the new house, waiting for me to decide what to do with it.

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Pumping at work has been fine. It seems very normal, really, which is fantastic. I am extremely grateful to have the lactation room at work. I’m glad to know that so many other ladies are using the facility as well – I had to take this picture of the most bags I had ever seen in the room at once. So many pumping mamas! When I returned from maternity leave there was only one other woman using the room, and she was on her last couple weeks before her son turned one. For a couple weeks I was the only woman using the room until a couple more co-workers returned from their maternity leaves. Then the room got pretty busy – this picture of all the pump bags happened a few times this year (we always have people coming in the office from off-site, so the number of lactation room users can vary a lot). I didn’t really make any lasting friendships or anything, but knowing other people were in the same place as me was a kind of support in and of itself.

As far as daytime weaning, I’m not there yet. When I’m at home I’m still nursing my nursling, but I don’t know how long my supply will keep up. I don’t really have a plan – we replaced the morning feeding with the “milk hybrid” bottle and we’ll probably replace another at-home feeding with a bottle over the weekend. Maybe. I’m not sure yet. I’m not sure what I want to give up yet. I think most people start dropping their nighttime feedings first, but not us. My weaning plan is a “play-it-by-ear” or a “do-what-feels-‘right’-whatever-the-hell-that-is” kind of plan. A CTFD-type of plan, if you will! We’ll see how it goes.

Finally, everyone’s favorite way to end a post, the fun paragraph in which I tell about my postpartum body (yes I’m still calling it postpartum). I still haven’t had a period!!! (I’m done trying to call that by other names as well.) No, I am not pregnant (I took a test on Friday, just in case). I hope that now that I’m not pumping things will get back to normal. I’m not complaining, but it’s weird. Part of me almost thinks I have some lack of control right now. Not that I can control when it shows up each month… maybe it is the predictability that I miss. Maybe I should just shut the hell up and enjoy it while it lasts. CTFD! Linea negra is still around too.

Next post: cute baby pictures and lots of videos in the 12 month update!

Lactation Room Etiquette

Some “Do”s and “Don’t”s when in the office lactation space. At my office there are two cubes in our room, so that set-up does influence some of these tips. Some of these things may or may not have happened to me or fellow co-workers of mine.

“DO” say hello to your fellow lactating mama when you enter the room and one of the cubes is already occupied. Signs of occupation include: the light in the room is already on, the sound of a pump is present, the “occupied” sign is flipped on a cube, etc. Saying hello lets your fellow pumper know that you are female and you respect the other female in the room.

“DON’T” wonder in to a cube to make sure it is unoccupied. “DO” vocalize your question instead: “Hi. Is this cube occupied?” or “Which cube are you in?” Walking in on a co-worker pumping could be awkward.

“DO” feel free to engage in cordial conversation with your fellow pumper. “DON’T” continue to attempt engagement if the other person in the room clearly doesn’t want to communicate which is generally demonstrated by either their one-word answers to your questions or not answering your inquiries at all (maybe she has her headphones on or something). Pumping is an intimate act and not everyone wants to talk while hooked up to the machine. (I actually like a little conversation as I find pumping a bit boring, but it seems that most of my lactating co-workers are a bit more introverted.)

“DON’T” use the lactation space if you aren’t pumping, such as escaping your desk to take a nap, call your sister, cry about your last meeting/meager pay/insensitive office mates/etc. “DON’T” use the pumping space if you’re not a lactating mama.

“DO” feel free to multi-task while pumping, including eating lunch, reading blogs, checking email, etc.

“DON’T” make phone calls from the lactation room. It is perceived as an invasion of privacy by your fellow pumper. And it’s generally weird. Do you make calls from the bathroom? Well, you shouldn’t. Gross. (And I’m not AT ALL saying the bathroom and the lactation room are the same because they ARE NOT but the privacy etiquette required is similar for both places.)

“DON’T” leave your lunch/breakfast/snack leftovers in the lactation room fridge (prompting a “Why does my breast milk smell like onions?” at the end of the day) and “DO” clean up your crumbs.

“DO” clean up in general after you are done pumping. Breast milk is awesome but no one wants someone else’s milk (or my own milk, really) all over the table they are about to use. It can get sticky. And just generally gross. Clean up includes any spots impacted by milk spills, should they occur, including the floor base boards (ours are speckled with milk, ew), chair, cube walls, etc.

“DO” say “Bye!” or “Have a nice day!” to anyone else left in the room when you leave. This lets the other person know for sure that they are by themselves again.

“DON’T” turn off the lights in the room when you leave if someone is still in there. “DO” turn off the lights to save energy if you know the room is empty. “DO” double-check the occupancy status of the room with a quick, “Hello?” or “Is anyone still here?”

“DON’T” assume others in neighboring offices can’t hear you singing at the top of your lungs while you pump. This is distracting to co-workers.

“DON’T” talk about fellow pumpers habits in the room with anyone else, be they a lactater or not. That’s just rude.

“DO” respect others, protect privacy and positively support your fellow lactaters.

Breastfeeding Milestone 1

In my mind, I have set three big goals for breastfeeding at six, nine and 12 months. At each goal point I am to re-evaluate how breastfeeding is going and decide for myself if I want to continue. So here we go… Time to work this one out!

How is it going? Well, as I see it and in my situation there are three main facets to this. First, there’s actually breastfeeding. This constitutes the time that I’m with Baby2, baby to breast, the good old fashioned natural stuff. Second, there’s actually pumping which is the time spent with my trusty pumping machine. Third is breast pump maintenance: time spent on cleaning, boiling, transporting and whatever else involves my pump except for the act of and time spent pumping. Let’s look at each category…

Actually breastfeeding: OMG I love you. Convenience, bonding, no cost, limited clean-up (just bottles for when I’m at work), etc. Breastfeeding is the most wonderful of wonderfuls.

Physically pumping: I can stand you. We’re okay. Cordial but not over-friendly (seems odd to be saying that about something as intimate as a breast pump though). Getting some engorgement relief is great; if I go past like 10 am without pumping (even on the weekends when I’m home) I’m a-hurtin’ so thank you Veronica for some sweet relief. (Hmm, that’s an odd sentence fragment.) Also, knowing that not only my baby but other babies out there benefit from my pumping makes pumping with it. AND it doesn’t hurt at all for me. So score there.

Pump maintenance: I FUCKING HATE YOU PUMP MAINTENANCE!!!!! Lugging that god damn pump bag back and forth through the work parking lot and through the building every day is inconvenient at best. Washing and boiling the pump parts every damn day is time-consuming (and I have already reduced my boiling times to once a week AND I don’t even wash my pump at work I just store it in the lactation room fridge between my two pumping sessions). Also, worrying that the god damn thing is going to break on me again is giving me grey hairs.

So to recap, I love breastfeeding and pumping is worth it but I hate pump maintenance. Therefore, it’s worth at least another three months of FUCKING PUMP MAINTENANCE.

But I’m having trouble staying motivated. Pump maintenance is really dragging me down you guys. So here’s a list of the 10 things I love most about everything breastfeeding. I shall refer to the list when I am cursing while cleaning my pump for the fifth time this week.

10. Helping the other babies. Did you know there are babies out there that literally cannot process formula? On our Arizona trip I donated milk to a mama of an adopted baby girl who had seizures, SEIZURES, after eating any kind of formula (she listed off some types that I had never even heard of) but when she started a consistent breastmilk diet all that changed. No seizures, started gaining weight regularly, meeting developmental milestones, etc. AMAZING what some boob juice can do.
9. Baby2’s comfort. I know that sometimes she isn’t hungry she’s just pissed or in pain (teething, shots, that one time that I let he fall on the floor while practicing sitting up) or tired but she stops crying or starts sleeping when put to the breast.
8. Health benefits for Baby2. You know, like she’s less likely of having diabetes and junk. We’ve all heard the enormous benefits before, no need to repeat them here. My fingers are tired from all this typing already.
7. Health benefits for me. Less chance of breast cancer, etc. Plus I’m burning more calories which is awesome.
6. It’s free. Well, I did have to buy the pump and some nursing bras but that’s it. Certainly better than spending hundreds of dollars on formula each month.
5. Breastfed baby poops don’t stink… too bad. They really do smell a little bit sweet. They dissolve nicely in the washing machine. Of course, now that Baby2 has started solids we’re in new poop territory, but we’re still seeing the benefits of breastfed baby poops. (Wow that would sound weird out of context.)
4. I have provided all the nutrients she needs with my boobs ALONE. That’s pretty cool. And empowering. Even now that she’s eating some solids she still gets the vast majority of her nutrients from me. It’s like a pseudo pregnancy and that’s absolutely wonderful. Because I love being pregnant and I love providing for my baby’s needs.
3. There is nothing more convenient! No bottles to fill, warm, wash and store (well, except for the one or two bottles Mr. Handsome uses during the week while I’m at work). No need to remember to bring a bottle when we go out, no need to keep track of it. No warming bottles in the middle of the night. No waste from the formula manufacturing or packaging. Nothing going into my baby that I don’t control. No recalls!
2. Did I mention the cost savings? I like saving money. A lot.
1. Bonding. Even when I’m pumping, I feel connected to my baby. And let me tell you, this week I really need any connection I can get. I’ve been working late a few nights. Sometimes I get home just before or right after Baby2 goes to bed. Some days I only get sleepy feedings in the middle of the night, no good daytime ones. And that sucks. A few times I’ve felt like she’s pushing the breast away, like she’s rather have a bottle. And then just thinking about all the time we’ve spent trying to get her to take the bottle and all and then to think that she might prefer that? Ugh. Luckily I know that’s not the case, but still, the mind wanders.

And everything, EVERYTHING, that I hate about pump maintenance is completely forgotten when I’m nursing Baby2 and she looks up at me with those dark blue eyes and she smiles, then goes right back to nursing. Or when she can tell that the boob is about to come out and her little arms shake with excitement and she opens her mouth and roots into anything – my hand, her hand, my shirt, etc, and makes the cutest rooting noises that I can’t even describe but I hope I remember for all time. How could I possibly give these things up because I have to clean my pump every night and carry it to work and back every day?

Yes, at least three more months of all this is just fine with me.

Milk Matters

A few weeks ago, I started donating my breast milk to a family I met though my local “Human Milk for Human Babies” facebook page. It started because I got frustrated while organizing my stash in my chest freezer: there was so much milk stored in there that we didn’t have any room for actual grown-up food! I had to take out all the frozen meats to make room.

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Milk stash quickly taking over my chest freezer

Plus I still had milk dating all the way back to July so I knew I only had a couple months left to use it or it would expire. So I connected with the facebook group and found a great mom of adopted twins who is driving all over town collecting milk from six different women in order to feed her precious babies the best stuff on Earth.

Think about that for a second: no matter what our struggles with breastfeeding are, I think they pale in comparison to someone not only wants to give her babies breast milk but drives all over town all week long to collect that milk! She and her husband willingly do that work for their babies. How amazing!

The first time she left my house with my milk I felt super weird. I mean, first, that’s MY milk! It came from me! I didn’t realize how attached to it I was until someone came and took it away. Weird. Then I had a mini freak out as I started to think, what if her babies react poorly to my milk?! What if it’s like blood – some types just aren’t compatible with everyone? But my donatee – what a sweetheart – texted me a few hours after she left to say one of the babies just gobbled up a couple ounces of my product and was looking quite content. Ah, sweet relief.

Side note – I almost feel like I’m doing something shady, because every Saturday I text her to tell her how many ounces I have for her and to arrange pick up. “Yo yo yo I gots 50 for ya this week.” If someone was reading our texts they might raise an eyebrow…

So there’s that. And it’s going really well! I give up about 50 ounces a week, which unfortunately only feeds those two babies for about a day. I only wish I could give more, but I know that my 50 ounces are better than zero. I do reserve about a dozen ounces for my freezer to keep just in case (what if I have to go away for a couple days or something? Not that that would happen but I like to be prepared for it).

My donee mama and I are fb friends now which is great because I can follow how the babies are doing. They have such an amazing story. The babies aren’t exactly twins – their mama calls them “twiblings.” One was adopted and the other was born via surrogate after 8 years of trying. Somehow both pieces fell into place at once and the babies were born a week apart. Amazing!

If you’re breastfeeding and you have more milk than you know what to do with, I encourage you to donate! Breast milk is the perfect food for babies. Some babies have allergies to formula and some just need that extra boost the breast milk provides. I’ve found facebook to be a great resource to connect with parents looking for milk. I looked into an “official” milk bank but most of the time you have to give in large amounts (usually 100 oz+) and the milk is pasteurized which does zap some of the sweet enzymes (or so I’ve read). Connecting directly with parents in need provides SO much more flexibility!

Now I love giving up my extra milk each week. It gives me just that much more satisfaction and motivation to keep breastfeeding!

Five Months

Baby2 is SUCH a happy baby. Not only is she an absolute delight when she wakes in the morning, but the evenings after work with her have been nothing short of fantastic. She babbles on and on in Baby Talk and will make her little squeal-type laugh at so many things. She loves playing with toys now and seeing a new one makes her little arms quiver with excitement.

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Mr. Handsome got her the exersaucer-stand-up-toy thing this month. At first I wondered if it would be uncomfortable for her since she doesn’t sit yet (so she doesn’t have the core sense to keep to balanced) but she does pretty well on her own. And by standing supported she’s probably working on strengthening those standing muscles! She loves the toy and we love getting things done in the kitchen.

Sometimes she can sit with support and maybe she will hold the sit for a least a second if she’s on my lap and I let go with my hands (ready to catch her when she starts to lean, of course!). When on the floor, Baby2 can roll both from front to back and back to front; she’ll go back and forth but she’s not rolling through the living room or anything. Occasionally she will roll in her crib and we’ll find her stuck in a corner, just kind of hanging out and talking to the mattress.

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Her sleeping patterns haven’t changed too much lately, which for nighttime sleep is kind of a bummer. She was doing these great six or seven hour stretches but those scaled back to three hours at the start of this month. I thought maybe it was the Four Month Regression (a temporary period in which babies regress to earlier sleeping patterns). But three weeks later and she’s still waking about three hours after she goes down. Huh. Well maybe it’s really supposed to be called the Four-to-Five Month Regression but that title was just too long. That’s got to be it…

Honestly, I don’t mind the waking too much, IF she gives me that at least a five hour stretch. ‘Cause that’s mama’s beer time. I’m not drinking a beer every night, but a couple nights a week I would like to have one. And yes, I could just give her a bottle, but I don’t want to. That’s kind of the point of breastfeeding. She gets enough bottles and I pump enough during the day and I don’t want to do that if I’m right there. But I would like one beer, once in awhile. So Baby2, if you’re listening, sleep.

We started a new bedtime routine so she can start associating something other than eating with bedtime, since I’m trying not to nurse her to sleep as often (unfortunately that happens more often than not, but sometimes I can’t help myself. What if she’s hungry? She needs to eat! It almost always quiets her cries, of course). Now every night she gets fed, then changed into PJs, we read a book and I brush her pretty little head which is slowly starting to accumulate more hair. I would love it if she started associating sleep with hair brushing. There are certainly worse things to associate sleep with. After all the brushing I put some coconut oil on her scalp to combat a small case of cradle cap (coconut oil has been working wonders! And she smells like cookies. Our ped says she also “loves coconut oil right now” for dry skin too. She’s a pretty fun doctor.) Then Baby2 goes to bed. Sometimes she goes right down, sometimes not so much. We roll with the punches.

Breastfeeding is still fantastic, even with all the pumping at work. I’m feeling pretty good about my one year goal right now; with Kiddo1 I had stopped by the time he was five months old due to supply issues. I’ve made it longer than last time now and the supply is certainly going strong! So much so that I’ve started donating some of my stash (which I will try to post about this week if I can ever wrap it up!).

A couple interesting post-partum tid-bits at five months (is it still considered “postpartum” at five months?):

I’m five pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, but I don’t feel like I am at all. I stepped on the scale the other day and I was a little shocked that I was lighter. Some of my clothes are more loose. But I haven’t been doing anything. Honestly I have “worked out” maybe once since Baby2 was born. I suppose I’m just okay with having a little extra fluff lately. I don’t think I’ll feel completely normal until I stop breastfeeding anyway, so I’m having a much easier time with feeling “different.” My linea negra is also still not completely gone (I cannot remember when it went away last time) and the “monthly gift” has not yet returned, thankyoubreastfeeding.

With that, I’m off to enjoy Christmas cookies!

The Day My Breast Pump Died

Slightly amusing if you sing this post’s title to the American Pie tune… But otherwise this situation is not amusing at all.

Yesterday I hurried into what I call “my office” for my second of three daily pumping sessions. I got all set up and comfy, flipped the power switch on Matilda (yes I named my pump – we spend a lot of time together!), pushed the power lever and… heard the saddest screeching sound coming from the heart of the motor. Matilda was stuck – no suction, nothing but a high-pitch, very loud, constant noise.

Fuuuuuuck.

I desperately needed to pump but I couldn’t. I’m the kind who just looking at my pump triggers let down. I felt like a high school boy in the backseat on a third date with a freshman who won’t put out. You know what I mean…

So after gathering my thoughts for a moment, putting my big girl brain to work, if you will, I figured I had two options (sort of): leave work and drive the 15 miles home to my baby (the best pump in the whole world) OR find a suitable replacement STAT.

Leaving work wasn’t an option. It takes almost 45 minutes to drive home and I would HAVE to come back because I had deadlines yesterday (four projects due 11/1, no getting out of it because, “Um, yeah, boss man, my boobie juicer is stuck so I’m taking off for the day.” Right…).

On to finding a replacement. Luckily there’s a dive-sort of K-Mart around the corner (with a dive bar attached to it!) so during my lunch break I 1) stopped at the Halloween store to take advantage of the 50% deals, 2) got myself some grub and 3) picked up a $30 manual breast pump.

Side note – I tried to call K-Mart ahead to see if they had my pump in stock. I held on the phone for over five minutes, twice, and no one in the Infants department picked up. Very poor customer service. Although if I were to judge this K-Mart by looks alone, the level of service I received (or didn’t receive) is not too surprising. But, they did have one single Avent manual pump in stock (might as well get one that matches all the parts I already have, right?). Victory!

Anyway, I had to dump everything I pumped yesterday because the new pump wasn’t washed or sterilized, but I made it through the day. I got home, washed and boiled all my pieces and I am set for today. But I’m stuck with one-sided, manual pumping. On a positive note, it reminds me of when I pumped milk nine years ago for Kiddo1 and used a manual pump at work because we were too poor to buy an electric one. Ah, memories.

On a positive customer service note, I have called Avent and they were fantastic. Very apologetic about the malfunction and a brand-new pump is being sent to me as we speak. As long as I get it by Tuesday (they promised Monday) I will be a happy camper.

Another positive is that I had planned on buying a manual pump for our holiday travels anyway, so I’m not really bitter about needing to buy one already. I wish I could have planned the purchase to find a discount instead of paying the full $30, but in the emergency that was yesterday I probably would have paid twice that to avoid missing all my work deadlines.

Such is the give-and-take of working outside the home I suppose! But now the big question – what do I name my new pump?!

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PhotobucketOften it feels like I hold a ticking alarm that, if not addressed every 108 minutes by plugging a code into a computer, will result in a build-up of a magnetic force so strong my whole world will implode. Except in my case the alarm is my breasts, the magnetic force field is breast milk and the code is either Baby2 or my pump (which has now been affectionately named Matilda). Oh and I have more like 180 minutes rather than 108. But the situations are fundamentally the same: address the alarm or face imminent doom!

Sometimes this is what breastfeeding feels like: a never-ending cycle, a job that will never be complete, a computer that will never stop asking for a code. Whether I’m in the midst of my commute, in back-to-back meetings or trying to sleep, breastfeeding never takes a day off.

Don’t get me wrong – there are things about breastfeeding that I absolutely love. I love that it’s best for my baby, easy for me to do, ready when Baby2 needs it and, the best part, FREE. And I’m not going to let a little thing like a three-hour countdown stop me. But after a day in which I woke up engorged (ugh!), missed a pumping session due to back-to-back meetings and then straight-up forgot about it (distracted by a pot luck!) so I ended up engorged again, I need to complain a little.

Rant over, troubles forgotten, back to breastfeeding goodness!